lettergirl

Yikes, have I really been a member of Swap-bot for 14 years?! What an eventful 14 years they have been! I thought I'd dip my toe back into the Swap-bot world, because it's been a long break. I miss that mail!

I'm 53. If you are young, you are perhaps thinking, "Ugh! I got stuck with a senior citizen! She'll probably send me Hallmark figurines or talk incessantly about her grandchildren. I can't relate!" But have no fear, I have no grandchildren, I don't know how to garden, and I seem immature for my age. Not in that annoying way either. I just like small toys and stickers and the idea of interesting candy, although the taste is not that appealing. But I have sarcasm too, so that's good. I own zero items with wine references. I basically enjoy the same things I liked when I was eight years old, except now I can afford them.

A mother. A wife. A teacher. Sorely out of practice in the art of making myself seem even remotely interesting. I make up for it by being silly or covering things in stickers.

I like things you can buy and then put together easily, and you can thank my rotten home ec teacher in 7th grade for that. The miserable woman scared me away from ever being able to use a sewing machine, just because my pig pillow took too long to assemble. If I weren't so OVER her, I'd hunt down one of those kits and embroider a swear word on it and send it to her. She's probably dead now, but still. Good thing I'm over it.

I like paper crafts. No home ec teacher ever ruined me on cutting and gluing.
Yet.

I like the idea of mailing interesting things, and things that are delightful. I don't scrapbook anymore, but I still have the supplies, so it's fun to make mail art or....basically go shopping for more, and then run out of time to actually do anything with any of it, because I've been at the store all day.

My dream projects involve felting, learning interesting embroidery, making charms, finally trying to create a flip book, and finishing the rug hook kit I got. And the paint by numbers I bought. And the Woobles kit I was trying to learn but messed up on and now I don't know because I'm in the middle of it and I don't know if I should restart it but I don't know where it starts, so it sits in a drawer. I have some diamond painting kits, too, and I like those, even though I think many of them are kind of tacky. (I have the Mona Lisa and the Woman with a Pearl Earring, so I feel classy.)

What is tv? I'm the worst because mostly I just play on my phone and watch funny cat videos, or listen to podcasts or audible books, until I realize my life is going by and I am missing out on popular culture by not watching anything. But my husband likes the drug lord crime, and I am kind of more of those "NOT murder, sex, magic, fantasy, hard to understand, or too stupid to be real", which isn't a Netflix code, I don't think. I like documentaries, and...wait, that sounds boring! I mean INTERESTING documentaries, and funny shows and dramas, and I really don't mind a little sex, but I would kind of like it to be meaningful to the story, you know? Unless it involves Kyle Chandler, and then, hey, I am sure I can overlook it. And stand up comedy is one of my favorites, and medical shows! I like those too.

Do you have suggestions? Maybe I'll go try Bridgerton, but I don't hold out a ton of hope.

I go to the library and stand by the "new" book shelves, and if anyone looks like they're going in to reach for it, I grab it, because they know what they like, and it's probably good. It's fun to win.

I hate to admit it, us being just barely acquainted and all, but I like realistic fiction. Not that kind on the reading list for college literature, either. Just good old her-husband-had-an-affair-and-now-she's-picking-up-the-pieces kind of stories. Bonus if they contain recipes or talk about oceans. Extra bonus if they DON'T contain an overabundance of description.

Oh, and those memoirs of people who survived weird diseases, bad marriages, troubled children, hard times, or being trapped in countries where you can't take your children with you, even though he said they belonged to you both until you got there and now he said he divorced you and you'll never see your children again. And polygamy. I'm fascinated with polygamy.

And a teeny bit of self-help, although I admit many of them get returned to the library unread.

scrapbook papers and stickers designed for scrapbooks (I'm redoing my profile, so I'll leave this one here. I haven't made a scrapbook page for about 12 years now. Do people still do it? I'm not as tempted to do a cute page on my 22 and 17 year old kids. They get mad if I try to take their picture.)

cats and dogs

butter--(you don't need to know that, but I really do like butter)

Kawaii stickers and coloring sheets

little plastic toys (cars are so cute!) or dolls or charms or animals

Chocolate and/or snacks

Address labels. What a score!

I am always looking for flat stickers, because I like to put them on envelopes

Does anyone have any of those puffy stickers with the googly eyes from the 70's and 80's? I miss those!

office supplies sarcasm--more the silly kind and less the mean kind

blank labels

unique pens and pencils

note paper that is decorated or funny

things with the "J" monogram on them

glittery things

mini-sized things

Daiso products

activity books (I wish they made these for grown-ups)

star and heart shapes

trial sizes of regular products

whimsey jars, or littler versions, like matchboxes, with a surprise inside

unique envelopes I can use, big or small

vintage bluebirds and happy looking birds

notecards and envelope

stamping supplies--stamps and inks

novelty key chains

journals or notebooks

larger stickers

charms that come in bubble gum machines, especially if they're old

coloring books

vintage ephemera

felted toys

Grover from Sesame Street

anything related to the show "All in the Family"

candy

iced tea

long letters

word games and puzzles

70's tv shows logic puzzles (the easier ones as I am not ambitious)

old salt and pepper shakers

items styled from the 20's to the 50's

spring and summer

light orange, red, yellow, light green, blue, lilac, purple, pink, sometimes brown.

the ocean and things related to looking at the ocean and eating lobster or going to the beach or having a vacation

squirrels and other woodland creatures

cool fonts on the computer

one million dollars in unmarked bills

SCRATCH LOTTERY TICKETS

painting by numbers

art kits, even the small ones

dot-to-dot books or sheets, especially hard ones

recommendations of good authors and books

lions

cats wearing wigs

fruit prints

Snoopy items

sarcasm

travel

Foam stickers

Not capitalizing the pronoun "I"- That's just wrong.

When swaps call for a note and people write the least they can. Or are so impersonal that you wonder why they bother doing this

Supernatural or paranormal TV shows--I don't like looking at scary things or working that hard to understand what's going on

People who take time to chastise something I've said on swap-bot- Don't like my swap? Who cares, lady?!

People overzealous with 3's and people who sort of hint that they "REAAALLY love those hearts!!"

Christmas stuff...I'm not against the idea of Christmas, I just really hate Christmas looking stuff

Dark colors and Americana looking stuff, or apple-themed objects

People who are mean about immigrants

Plain envelopes, probably because my favorite thing is to decorate them, so when they aren't, it feels like the envelope is disappointed that its one shot in life was spent being dull

When people don't rate after they have gotten what you sent

Fibers, confetti, plastic jewels, and those painted wooden little shapes

The colors teal and logan green. And beige and maroon and mauve and that yellow that looks like it has brown in it

Camping and being cold or wet

Scary vintage stuff

People who hate cats and like to say so

LOL--I'm not saying you can't use it. I'm just asking, did you truly laugh out loud? Because if you didn't, I don't want you using that on me. I'll think you were laughing when you weren't.

People who call people "snowflakes" or use the term "Murica". You can probably tell my political side, but I am old enough to remember when loving your country meant that you knew what was wrong with it, but it was still your home. And the flag was just the flag, and it looked kind of cool. Finally, if you're not from the US-please stop telling us how expensive our health care is. We already know. Perhaps I spend too much time on Reddit.